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May. 29th, 2016 09:24 pm
otiosity: (Default)
[personal profile] otiosity


You've reached Hawke! Leave a message on this thing that I don't even remotely understand and I'll fumble my way to figure out how to answer your most important request.

Probably.

Date: 2017-06-15 09:18 am (UTC)
neverheardofhim: (default icon)
From: [personal profile] neverheardofhim
[If nothing else, he could at least write a story about a flying cow. It might not fetch well with his usual readership, but he had heard that children's stories were a bit of an untapped market. He'd consider it, if the smut stories ever stopped selling.

For now, though, Varric could only smile, that warm sort of thing that only his closest confidants saw. He could keep up a wry smile all day, but he could count on one hand the number of people who brought out the -- admittedly embarrassing -- warm and fuzzies.

Only two of those had made it to Thisavrou.]


I certainly need protection. This bottle of booze is threatening to poison me, you know that? [Said bottle was torn open, and a clear liquid poured out into their glasses. One was held out to the woman, while the other remained in Varric's large hand.]

Help me slay yet another beast?

Date: 2017-06-16 05:48 am (UTC)
neverheardofhim: (did you fart?)
From: [personal profile] neverheardofhim
Cheers.

[He clanked his glass against hers, then sat back to down it in one. Lowering it, he peered at her expectantly -- she wasn't going to disappoint him, was she?]

Come on, I know you're better than that, Chuckles. Don't let me down.

Date: 2017-06-17 04:47 am (UTC)
neverheardofhim: (i farted)
From: [personal profile] neverheardofhim
How about... [He sucked in a breath. At least Varric was good at thinking on his feet.] Celebrating a good nap?

[Without even asking, he reached over and grabbed the bottle, pouring them both another serving or two. It'd been a rough month of doing nothing.]

Date: 2017-06-19 12:59 am (UTC)
neverheardofhim: (scoffy)
From: [personal profile] neverheardofhim
[That brief tease of skin might have made a lesser man give into temptation, but for Varric? It was nothing more than another late night with a shameless woman. He'd seen worse back in Kirkwall, when he'd had the misfortune of walking in on her and her paramours not just once, but a handful of times.

Besides, the dwarf didn't need to see her skin to know that she was beautiful. He'd written a book about her, described her appearance in painstaking detail. Critics and commoners alike had asked him about the subtext, questions that he had openly mocked.

It wasn't like that, he'd said.]


Heaps of vegetables on it, right?

Date: 2017-06-19 02:11 am (UTC)
neverheardofhim: (Default)
From: [personal profile] neverheardofhim
Now, Hawke, [He didn't even have to think about slipping his arm around her. He blinked and it was there, crushing the lithe woman against his side, right where she was always supposed to be. The Maker, Andraste, the Nightmare, whoever or whatever deemed it fair to take her from him, could be damned to the Void for trying otherwise.

You and I both know that if I didn't tell jokes, you would be miserable.

Date: 2017-06-19 02:27 am (UTC)
neverheardofhim: (mr meeseeks look at me)
From: [personal profile] neverheardofhim
[There was something about the warmth of her skin that made his own stomach twist. Hell, if he didn't know better, he'd say his heart was beating just a bit faster. Maybe it had to do with his earlier thoughts, of how much he had missed her when he believed her dead. When he knew she was dead. Warmth meant life, and this was nothing more than elation over the reminder that Marian Hawke was very much alive.]

Alright, fine. No more jokes. What do you want on it?

Date: 2017-06-19 03:20 am (UTC)
neverheardofhim: (Default)
From: [personal profile] neverheardofhim
[Just like that, the moment came to an end. Rather than feeling the faint stirrings of sentimentality, Varric simply felt at ease. This was a normal night with Hawke, no need for him to be feeling odd around her.]

Got it, princess. [He pulled out his tab and tapped away on its projected surface, thoughtful frown pulling at his lips.]

That it?

Date: 2017-06-19 04:01 am (UTC)
neverheardofhim: (edgy shadows)
From: [personal profile] neverheardofhim
I don't hate anything. [Aside from Red Lyrium, the Nightmare and the Guild, with a few other minor grievances sprinkled in between. The point was, he was hardly bothered by her pizza selection. If any of it bothered him, he could pick it off. And that was implying he didn't just order his own piece, or that he was hungry at all in the first place.]

I'm an old man, Hawke. I can't be expected to know how to order a pizza at the top of a hat. That's all I'm frowning over.

[Still staring at the screen, Varric clapped a hand down on Hawke's feet, holding them in place while he finished ordering.]

Date: 2017-06-19 04:17 am (UTC)
neverheardofhim: (what the fuck)
From: [personal profile] neverheardofhim
[Hawke's first words netted only a scoff and a shake of the head. It was a weak attempt at getting a rise out of him, one that the dwarf wouldn't even grace with an a serious response. Or at least, that was what he told himself. They both knew that he was at Hawke's mercy, that Varric would do what ever she needed, without so much as a question.]

Never going to happen. I'm showing my age bad enough as it is.

Date: 2017-06-19 04:47 am (UTC)
neverheardofhim: (did you fart?)
From: [personal profile] neverheardofhim
Let it go, Marian.

[He pressed a button, sending the order off, before turning to her. A stern look was fixed upon the woman. It did a poor job of covering up the underlying affection, however, but Varric wasn't sure whether or not that was a good thing or a bad thing.]

It's like you're telling me you don't like me the way I am.

Date: 2017-06-21 07:03 pm (UTC)
neverheardofhim: (plotting your fictional death)
From: [personal profile] neverheardofhim
[Varrics will always smile for Hawkes. Whether the dwarf liked it or not, he was helpless in the face of the woman and her ways. It didn't take long for a smile to spread over his lips, even if it did come with a roll of his eyes.]

If that's true, then I'd certainly be interested in seeing what you looked like in glasses.

Date: 2017-06-25 10:31 pm (UTC)
neverheardofhim: (i farted)
From: [personal profile] neverheardofhim
A super genius? [Sorry, Hawke, he's too busy laughing to form any other kind of response.]

Date: 2017-06-26 03:23 am (UTC)
neverheardofhim: (i farted)
From: [personal profile] neverheardofhim
I believe you, Hawke. Absolutely.

[No he doesn't. He's still chortling and shaking his head.]

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