IC Contact

[otiosity]

You've reached Hawke! Leave a message on this thing that I don't even remotely understand and I'll fumble my way to figure out how to answer your most important request.

Probably.

Comments

[otiosity]

Does it involve in three nugs in basket and a bottle of whiskey? Sadly, I'm going to assume no.

[arcreact]

there might be whiskey involved, actually

[otiosity]

Then I'm listening.

[arcreact]

so, i'm kind of a big deal back home
all sorts of people want me dead, the whole deal
i got used to having a little muscle around, y'know?
i'm feeling the absence here on the USS Shitstorm

[ HE'S SO FULL OF SHIT. ]

[otiosity]

a big deal? and here I thought you were just a regular deal.

and so you want me to be your muscle. i'm assuming mostly for the initial visual joke and then the magic part second

[arcreact]

i gotta level with you
the magic thing still offends me on a really personal level
but yes

mostly i trust you to insult people for me in a way that i find satisfactory and entertaining

[otiosity]

dont worry i completely understand magic is extremely offensive in most of thedas. my entire life is a long string of offenses.

hmmm i think i can manage that. i do have a rather large amount of quips stored away in my brain

[arcreact]

yeah, see?
this is why you're the person for the job

engineering is full of truly insufferable people now
i can't be expected to verbally harass all of them on my own at all times

[otiosity]

alright but i expect my witty verbal harassment to be compensated. quips don't come up with themselves.

and i want a muscle name. like... THE FALCON.

[arcreact]

i'll have you know i've always compensated my employees generously

[ Holy shit though. ]

that's fine
but you have to wear a FALCON nametag
and i mean all the time

[otiosity]

ohh im an employee. ive never been a real employee before. just hired help. feels fancy and sparkly and important.

and it's THE FALCON. the definite article is important to really convey the message of how FALCON i'm being.

[arcreact]

okay that's fair
it also implies there can be only one
which is true
one bodyguard is stylish, two is excessive

[otiosity]

and im unique and all about style bossman. its fate